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Monday, October 8, 2012

Sunday, September 23, 2012

crumbling

closet at home (my photography)

Ever felt like your world is slowly crumbling?

This is one of those times...

Last week I was nonfunctional due to stress, anxiety, worry, fear, life.

It is so hard to be a full time student taking 19 units, including a musical, and applying for millions of different colleges. There are doctors appointments I have to keep and remember, homework I have to turn in on deadlines, monologues and scripts I have to memorize and friends I need to keep and family I need to please. I am not writing so you can take pity on me, but merely as a way to make all this mess in my head come out into a solid paragraph of words on here. This way instead of having all these to do lists flutter about in my mind emerging, flying away and then randomly coming back again... I can have it written down in a physical state. I need to go to voice lessons and rehearsals. I need to start turning in my music theory homework and my english homework and god knows what else. I have to visit an observatory... pronto before it gets cloudy. I have to apply apply apply for all of these schools so I have a good future, and so I end up doing what I love, performing, but I want to be in the big leagues. I also have to catch up on doctor who before my wonderful boyfriend dies of impatience, and I need to catch up on Once upon a time simply because I need to know what happens. I don't know where I would make time for that however. And then there is study time, which has always and will always be so very very very difficult. On top of all this I have to remember birthdays, and holidays and I need to be creative because that is who I am. And I work too, making time for my job... 0.o

Well I think right now I just need to go to sleep... but I need to start organizing myself. Knowing due dates better, writing things down in a planner, post it notes need to become my new best friend. And I think the biggest thing that will help me is to breathe... and tell myself it is going to be okay. I really don't hear that enough, that it's going to be okay... it sounds foreign on my tongue.

so it starts with sleep and a new day

<3 goodnight <3

Sunday, September 16, 2012

sad is happy for deep people

sometimes people need to be sad... even if it isn't what they want. Maybe there is a reason for sadness.

This song that Hunter Parish sings so beautifully makes me sad but makes me happy, it is the perfect song. Sun sets make me sad... but happy... they are a reminder that the day is ending, but they are visions in the sky, art in nature, a natural beauty there for just a few minutes and then gone. That makes me sad too, that sunsets don't last, that they disappear, and never again will you see the same one.